I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
