PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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