yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
