Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize