I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
