I hate your face
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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