I heard we made out
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
