Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
