I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
