He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
