this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize