Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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