We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
