How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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