Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This girl is more easily done than said...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
