3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
