spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
