Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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