I want to have your abortion
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
