so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
