chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
