Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
