I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
