A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
