I wish my penis had an off switch
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
