im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
