are you still at the devil's house?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
