so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I only lived at night.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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