She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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