It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
