sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
