I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
