i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
