Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
