Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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