Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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