he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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