the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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