The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
