I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
