Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
