i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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