I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
