How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
