Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize