Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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