Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
