ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
