dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
