not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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