he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
