three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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