Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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