you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
