haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize