return my video game
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
