I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't turn off my feet"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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