Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
