apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
