all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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