Michael Bay diarrhea
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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