I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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