Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
