Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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