i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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