The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A bitchslap is in order.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
