1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is my gift to your gina
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
