those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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