I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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