Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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